My family and I have made the decision to go into ministry full time. I understand that there will be a lot of questions regarding how and why we believe we have been called to this work, so I have taken the time to write an account of how He led us to this decision. This is going to be lengthy, but it details how God has called our family into full time missionary service, and conveys the vision for that call.
Our decision to dive into serving the Lord full time is not something that occurred to us overnight. It’s something that has been developing for several years. We have always known that the ministry that God has placed me in and the things I have been involved in over the course of the last 10 years have been leading us towards the point where we would eventually make the move into full time ministry. We just didn’t know where or what exactly it would look like when the time came.
We have never had a problem with holding down a full time job and doing ministry on the side as a passion. In the past few years, the ministry has been becoming so much a part of our lives and has grown to the point where it has become difficult to juggle my job, my wonderful family, and ministry, and do them all well. I have been asking the Lord for the past 5 years or so what His will is for our family and for the ministry. Does He want me to begin actively seeking opportunities to get into full time ministry? Does He want me to keep doing what we are doing and just have a job to pay the bills, but be passionate about serving Him and winning the lost in my spare time? Either way, I want to be submissive to His will for our family. I have had the deep desire and felt called to go full time for him, but how and where? Which direction should I go? I decided I would continue to be faithful in the things He has called me to and the responsibilities He has given me and let Him open the doors when the time came.
The decision to join YWAM as a full time missionary family is something that has taken 2 years for us to make. I have to be honest, I really didn’t ever think we would go down this particular road, but here we are. Here’s how it has unfolded.
A few years ago, my brother in law and his family were in their second year as full time missionaries in YWAM. At that time, they were based in Honolulu, Hawaii. He called me and told me that he thought he could get us free housing on the base if we came out to visit, as long as we would go out and do some street evangelism. Well, I had promised my wife when we were dating that I would fulfill her lifelong dream to go to Hawaii someday, and anyone who knows me knows that it doesn’t take much convincing to get me to go do some street witnessing, so we booked the tickets.
We went to Honolulu and I have to say it was easily the best place I have ever gone to for sharing the gospel. There is no other city in the world quite like it. Every week, there is a constant influx of new people from all over the globe, from all different backgrounds, coming there to relax. It’s the perfect environment to engage people and speak to them. While witnessing in Waikiki, we met people from South Africa, Europe, Asia, Australia, the US mainland, etc. It really is unique in that there are people from just about everywhere who come there to vacation. This makes it a perfect place not only to be an evangelist, but also to train evangelists, especially those who would soon be going out all over the world on missions. I could see why it is such a great place to have a YWAM training base.
We talked loosely while we were there about what a great opportunity there was to launch a school of evangelism in Honolulu. The base already had a leader of the school at that time, but he was thinking about moving to another base, so the door may be opening up in the near future. Its such a strategic place for a variety of reasons. First, because of the fact that people there are approachable and open to the gospel, and it’s a great place to train evangelists with hands on experience how to witness to people of all faiths and backgrounds. Not everyone will understand this concept, but those who have any experience in the realm of evangelism and come to that place will immediately know what I’m talking about. Secondly, because it’s a desirable place for students to want to come and participate in a school.
After we left, my brother in law encouraged me a few times to quit my job, sell the house, and join YWAM. Honestly, I had zero desire to do it. I was already preaching and teaching 3-4 times per week, and had a lot of really cool and fulfilling evangelistic ministry on my plate. Why would God call us elsewhere when we are already bearing fruit where we were at?
In March of 2013, he and I were talking again about YWAM and what kinds of opportunities there are within the organization to use gifts like ours to equip and train young missionaries. He was asking me about joining again. As we talked, I received a quickening in my spirit and felt that the Lord was telling me to go, but I dismissed it because I really never thought of myself as a full time missionary. I didn’t commit to anything but said that I would talk to Beth and pray about it. Honestly, I only said that to get him off my back. But I am not one to commit to pray and then offer up a flippant, insincere prayer, so I did pray about it. I really didn’t expect what started happening next.
I actually started having a genuine desire to go and do it. I spoke with my wife, and Beth was just as excited about it as I was, but we didn’t really have any word from the Lord other than a good feeling, so we chewed on it for a few days. Odd things started happening. I walked into city hall to get some permits for work, and the guy behind the counter was wearing his Hawaii shirt with all the islands on it. We started seeing unusual amounts of bumper stickers of Hawaii and flip flops among all sorts of other curious things. I was out jogging on a 35 degree morning in the middle of the desert here in WA with no ocean nearby when some guy drives by in a beachmoblie with a surfboard strapped to the top. Everywhere we looked, we sere seeing little signs. We even joked about it for those first few days, “Hey, look! A sign!” Ha ha. I told the Lord, “God, I’m gonna need a lot more than some weird circumstances to explain why I would uproot my family and do this thing.” After all, there isn’t anything necessarily unusual about seeing people wear Hawaiian shirts or that they have bumper stickers. Maybe we were just more aware of things that are simply everyday occurrences.
Then, that same week, I went out to lunch with the pastors from Calvary Chapel on a Friday. I did not plan on bringing this subject up at all. During the lunch, two of them mentioned that they were going to Hawaii next week for a wedding. It opened the door to discuss the islands, and eventually I began sharing the vision. I thought for sure they were going to laugh at me. But they didn’t. In fact, it was the exact opposite. Two of them told me I was crazy for not doing it if the door was open. Pastor Steve grabbed my arm and looked me in the eye and told me, “You need to do this.” I was totally floored. He even pulled me aside in the parking lot on the way out and told me privately that it was a needed thing and that I should really consider doing it. I explained to them that my biggest obstacle would be the financial aspect, since there aren’t any paid staff members in the YWAM organization. Everyone raises their own support. I would have to trust the Lord and my brothers and sisters to provide for our needs. Who would support a missionary to Hawaii? They were all giving me positive encouragement, and some even offered to support us financially. I was really surprised by their enthusiasm. So, at that moment, I decided I was going to move forward and start looking into it more deeply.
I came home and told Beth about our discussion and she told me that she was ready to go. To her, the biggest thing was whether or not our spiritual leadership was behind it or not. It was the most important thing for her that the church supported our decision. That evening we went out to dinner and I jokingly declared that I believed God was going to speak to me through my fortune cookie. It read, “You made a brilliant decision today” Haha
I knew the verse that says, “In the multitude of counselors, there is safety,” so I started thinking about who I wanted to get my counsel from. I didn’t want to just meet with guys who were as passionate about evangelism as I am, because their advice would be fairly predictable. I talked to a few men and their input was positive, but I still had a few other people in mind to get counsel from. Everyone I talked to at this point had offered financial support without my even asking about it.
At this point I had a few check marks. I had my wife’s approval. I had the church’s approval. I had odd things happening in circumstances. But I still needed more.
We were lying in bed that night talking and I was reading my Bible. In every major decision we have made before, the Lord has spoken to me very clearly in the Word about it and given me direction. I’ll be praying about something, and then in my daily reading, He will have a verse jump out at me and come alive and speak right into my situation. This is without me having to go search out verses that I think may apply.
So I am reading and thinking this in the back of my mind, wondering if its just going to be a bunch of other Christians telling me this is a good thing, or whether the Lord will give me some Scripture, and immediately as I finish that thought, the next verse I read is Proverbs 20:18 “Plans are established by counsel.” I felt reassured that I was doing the right thing by seeking advice from godly guys, and shared the verse with Beth. I knew that God would be in the midst of my discussions and that He was telling me to trust the counsel of my brothers in the Lord.
Then I flipped to my next bookmark in my daily reading, which was in Luke 5. In verse 4 Jesus says, “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” Mindblower. The verse lept off the page and spoke directly to me. I shared it with Beth and she was just as impressed. I was getting confirmation in the Word now, too. Check #4. Seriously, these are just a couple of Scriptures that I am sharing with you. God has given us an enormous amount of confirmation in the word, but I don’t want to be too exhaustive here.
Then we went out to dinner with another pastor friend of mine who has always been a great help and encouragement to me. I knew he wouldn’t beat around the bush but would give me an honest assessment. He and his wife were extremely supportive. Of course, they didn’t want us to leave but they understood the incredible opportunity behind raising up a generation of soul winners. I began sharing the verses God had given me, but just as I was about to share the second verse, he interrupted me and said, “Wait a minute! I’ve been talking to you for all these years about full time ministry and I’ve been telling you to go ahead. This better not be a failure to launch!” Ha ha. Then I shared the second verse to “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” He shouted, “See! There’s confirmation right there!” He asked his wife, “How many times in our marriage have you ever heard me say that word?” “Never,” she said. Coincidence? It was pretty interesting. But overall, our conversation went well, and he confirmed that this fits who we are in Christ and the gifts God has given us.
I had another meeting with a respected friend who I knew would have solid advice. I was really trying to get input from people who were not at all emotionally involved, so they could give me some perspective that I might be missing. As I was waiting for him to show up to our lunch meeting, I bumped into another friend and quickly gave him the rundown. He was really enthusiastic and committed on the spot to sending monthly support. I was so surprised by all these people who talked about giving to what God was going to do. I never asked for anything from anyone, or even hinted that I was looking for support at this point. Then my friend showed up and I outlined the vision for him. We talked about it extensively and all the possibilities wrapped around it. One thing he did ask was whether or not I had personally talked to the higher-ups within YWAM about it and heard from their own mouths that this is possible. So my take-away points from that meeting included that. I had planned on making those calls, but now that things had been moving along, it was time to contact them and hear it straight from them.
When we were in Honolulu, we had dinner with Danny Lehmann, the director of evangelism for YWAM. He has been in YWAM for over 30 years, lives on the main base in Kona, and is the dean of the school. He was part of the original discussion, but I hadn’t spoken to him about it since. So I got his number from my brother in law, and gave him a call. He actually gave me about 20 minutes of his time. We spoke about the vision for the school and he was extremely supportive. He was excited about having someone with a passion for pure evangelism join the organization. He told me that if we would join YWAM and come to start the school, he would support it, be involved in it, promote it, and recruit students for it. He reiterated over and over that YWAM needs people like us and told me to come. Another check in place. Now I heard it from the horse’s mouth that they wanted us there in Honolulu and that they would support the vision to start the school.
That night, I began looking into pricing to see what the costs would actually be. Everyone who joins YWAM must go through a DTS (discipleship training school), before going out on the mission field. Families must go through it together. Its 3 months in classroom, and 2-3 months on outreach, which is a mission to a foreign country. We had initially thought that we should do our DTS in Kona, where we would establish key relationships for our future with the school. But after seeing the costs in going to the Kona base, I began feeling pretty overwhelmed. It was way too unrealistic for a family of 7 to afford to do the DTS there. I started thinking we were not going to be able to do it at all. Then I remembered that there are lots of bases all over the U.S. that we could go to, and that maybe those relationships weren’t as necessary to forge immediately after all, depending on how much less the cost was to do the DTS somewhere else. The first base that popped up in my search engine was in San Diego, so I jotted the phone number down and went to bed, planning on calling them in the morning to talk to someone about the cost.
When I woke in the morning, I was feeling a little bummed out. I was getting kind of excited, but the cost looked too high to be realistic. I opened the book I was reading as a daily devotional, and what do I read? The title was “Trusting God for Money”. It was all about how the author had to learn to trust God for money when he made the transition into full time mission work. In it, he explained how he too had always supported himself and his exploits in ministry, but now he had to let go and allow the rest of the body to get involved in what God was doing. He could trust that the Lord would provide for his needs. Then he gave some details about how to convey the vision for ministry, and all the spiritual benefits that come to both the receiver and the givers in supporting missions, and how the Lord impresses upon certain people the desire to give to Him. I felt a renewed sense of faith in what we were doing. Do you think this is a coincidence, or God’s perfect timing to speak to me about the exact area where I was struggling?
When I called the base, they were actually not in San Diego, but in San Antonio, Mexico. It’s a little town about 20 minutes south of Tijuana. The base is actually called, YWAM San Diego Baja. She told me that the base didn’t carry any debt, so their tuition costs were much less. Plus, since they were in Mexico, they would be totally flexible for our family and allow us to use our time there and in nearby towns as our outreach, so there wouldn’t be all those costs of flying my family around the world for the outreach phase of the DTS. It turns out that we can do our DTS there for considerably less than the cost of doing it pretty much anywhere else in the YWAM organization. This is totally doable, I thought.
Immediately after hanging up with her, I called Beth and told her about it. It really looks like this could be the place to go. I didn’t get a chance to look at their website too much since it was so late the night before, so I told her to go ahead and google YWAM San Diego Baja and check it out. “What did you say?” she asked me. I said “San Diego Baja B-A-J-A.” It turns out, Beth had just pulled onto the freeway and the car in front of her had a huge bumper sticker that just read “BAJA”. It grabbed her attention and blazed into her mind. Then I called her. Coincidence?
As we have been being led to make this decision, there has been a real war going on inside my mind. Everything I have been taught by the secular worldview says that what I’m about to do is crazy. We have achieved the American dream. Beautiful family, great job, dream home. Now, I’m about to give it all up? Everything in my spirit says “Yes!” The rewards will be immeasurable. To pour into the lives of scores of missionaries, training them to become a generation of evangelists, and see the Kingdom of God advanced in the world is far more fulfilling than anything else. But everything in my flesh says to just keep what we’ve got and keep up what we’ve been doing. The rubber was about to meet the road in this whole thing. Sooner or later I would have to make a decision.
I went to the church and met with another one of the pastors who was not at the pastors meeting the week before. I was hoping to also meet with Steve to let him know how things were progressing and get his thoughts about whether he was really serious about thinking our family needed to do this thing. But he was really busy, and he was going be gone the entire next week.
The pastor I met with listened to the vision and all the events that had led up to that point and pretty much told me that if I didn’t go, I would end up like Jonah and be one miserable sucker. God gave me a couple of scriptures during our meeting. Jesus said in Luke that “He who seeks to save his life shall lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake and the Kingdom of God’s sake, the same shall save it.”
1John 2 says to “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.”
Then he told me that Steve had already enthusiastically told him about the whole thing and that he thought it was a perfect fit for our family. I was really reassured by his kind words and encouragement. Also the fact that these guys had already been talking about it spoke volumes to me about their support of the vision.
A couple days later, I was on the freeway, praying as I was driving, and I started questioning again what was happening. What would our families have to say? What about our church family and the people we serve? Are people going to think we’ve lost our minds? I asked the Lord to give me another confirmation that this is the right thing for our family. As soon as I finished the prayer, I got an email alert on my phone. I opened it up (yes, I was still driving shhh!) and it turned out to be from a friend at church. She had heard about what was going on and was totally blown away by our faith and obedience to move forward. She wrote a long letter which basically encouraged me by saying that she was personally inspired to seek God’s will and be more willing to do what He says. That was another cool coincidental moment where God gave me a timely word of encouragement.
But like I said, there have been many times where my rational mind tells me this is crazy. The next day, I was wrestling with those thoughts again and asked the Lord for another sign. Even though He had already been showing us so much, I was still reluctant to let go. I opened the Bible to begin reading, and a passage in the Old Testament opened up like a magnet and caught my eye. I began reading in Isaiah 42:18-20
18 Listen, you who are deaf!
Look and see, you blind!
19 Who is as blind as my own people, my servant?
Who is as deaf as my messenger?
Who is as blind as my chosen people,
The servant of the Lord?
20 You see and recognize what is right
but refuse to act on it.
You hear with your ears,
But you don’t really listen.
Yikes! I got rebuked! God is only going to speak clearly for so long before we have to act in obedience. But I have to say that the Lord is good. Shortly after the rebuke, he also gave me another incredible, timely email. I received a ministry update from a well known international evangelist in which he had an article entitled, “Have I Misunderstood God’s Will?” It was all about misconceptions people have in discerning the will of God. Many people want to know every last minute detail before they step out in ‘faith’ in what God is calling them to. But God doesn’t usually do things that way. He usually reveals His will in layers. He will ask us to take a step of faith in a certain direction, and as we obey, He reveals the next step. Like Abraham, who the Lord told to leave everything and go into a land He would show him. He didn’t know all the details, but he knew he had been called by God, so he obeyed, and became the father of faith. There are many more examples in Scripture of men being called in this way. The article spoke so clearly to me, I forwarded it to Beth and she also was greatly encouraged by it.
Not long after that, I was having a doubting moment again. I was fairly certain at this point that God was calling us, but unsure of the timing. I was driving back to Tri Cities from Sunnyside during work, and I was praying again and asking God, “Really? You really want us to do this thing? I’m wiling to go where you send me. Is it this year, or in 10 years?” Before I could even say “Amen,” my phone rang. It was the City of Sunnyside building inspector. I answered the phone and he says, “Aloha!” I said, “What did you just say?” He chuckled and said, “Aloha! It’s a nice place. Haven’t you ever been there?” I have never had anyone say that to me in my life, except while we were in Hawaii. But he goes and says it to me, while I’m praying at that exact moment? So I called Beth to tell her about it, and we were both encouraged, knowing that the odds of that being coincidence are near impossible. She hangs up the phone and turns the tv show back on, and the first thing that pops up is a girl who says, “Get ready to go to Oahu!” Beth shouts, “What?!” the girl says a second time, “Get ready to go to Oahu!” There is no possible way to attribute this to happenstance or coincidence.
There’s a pattern here of God giving us direction at the exact time we have a doubt or a question. Honestly, there is much, much more in terms of God confirming this to us over and over again in all kinds of ways. But I think this gives you an idea that it is clearly something God is calling us to.
It was getting pretty obvious that things were falling into place for us to actually make the decision to go. The last thing I was waiting for was to see God’s provision. A few people had already offered financial support, but I have no idea what those numbers were, since we hadn’t been really actively seeking support.
But the first step in the process of the financial side is to sell the house. Will it even sell for what we would like to get out of it? I had no doubt that we could sell our house. But will it sell for the right amount? Will God provide the funds beyond that to support our family in Hawaii?
I called a Christian realtor friend of mine, who is a ministry minded guy. I laid out the vision for him and he totally volunteered to sell the house for free, with zero commission. He wanted to do the job as an offering to the Lord. What a blessing! Before we hung up, he said, “I’m so glad you called today.” When I asked him why, he said that he had just been praying, a little bit ago, that very morning, feeling bad about not being faithful in giving to missions lately. He said he asked the Lord, “How can I give to missions? How can I help?” Then I called him! Wow! Every step of the way, the Lord has been setting things up and giving answers and direction to every aspect, just as we needed it. It took some time to sell the house, but eventually it sold. We didn’t make enough money on the sale for me to feel comfortable going just yet, so we decided we would build one more house and sell it as a fundraiser. That is where we are now, with the new house on the market and ready to launch as soon as it sells.
Once we have this house sold, we will be heading out to the next DTS at the YWAM San Diego Baja base, and from there we will head to Honolulu. After completing the prerequisites within the organization, we will be leading our own school and training missionaries.
This is what we understand at this point. God could close the door on the whole thing for another 2 years if He wants to. He could reveal more things to me and expand the vision in ways I can’t forsee right now. I kind of expect Him to as we take more steps of faith. The things He has taught and developed in us over the past two years of preparation have shown me that there very well may be more things He wants to do before we actually go. But right now, it looks like the timing is right, and the door is open.
Will you pray for us? Pray that the house sells. Pray for wisdom. For open doors. For provision. For God to go before us. For us to remain humble and teachable in this process.
Please take a second to visit my website and subscribe to the blog. This way, you will receive updates in your email inbox as things progress, and you will be able to follow us on this journey. I will be using that as the vehicle through which we communicate and update those who support us with prayer and financial support. Go to www.sowingtheseed.com and subscribe.
Thanks brothers and sisters.
May God bless you
Billy Kyllonen and family