They say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” If you want to blow that important first impression, ignore cultural etiquette with your new acquaintances.
When I moved to Washington, I was invited on a road trip with a bunch of guys I had just met at church. On the first evening, we stayed with some people who invited us to go ahead and use their sauna, which I thought was the perfect opportunity to get to know these guys better.
Growing up in northern Michigan, saunas were part of every day life. They are a great place for men to relax and hang out together. (Women too, I suppose, but I never got invited to go with them.) We used to sit in the sauna for a long time, throwing steam and telling stories, discussing important issues of life.
Where I come from, people take saunas in their birthday suits. (That means they’re naked) Well, this was my first trip to WA.
I was the last guy to walk into the sauna. My hopes of making friends and building relationships were quickly dashed into pieces when I opened the door and was met with horrified gasps and shrieks from six guys all wearing swimming shorts! They expressed their shock and surprise by ordering me to get out and put some clothes on. None of them wanted any part of it.
Huge fail. I don’t know if I’ve ever earned any respect out of a single one of those guys since.
The apostle Paul was a smart guy. He knew how to reach his audience, and how to avoid intentionally turning them off. He said in 1 Cor 9, “Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”
What does that mean? When Paul wanted to reach the Jews, he didn’t walk around Jerusalem with a ham sandwich in his hands. He was sensitive to what might offend his listeners.
You and I are called by God to share the gospel with the world. Let’s take care that we don’t turn them off by some silly thing we do to lose their respect or destroy our witness.
We don’t have to engage in things that are ungodly to show that we are relevant, but we also don’t need to blow our chances by being culturally insensitive.
When your heart is set on winning people, you’ll find the right balance. Go get em!