I was down at the city planning department applying for some permits a couple days ago, talking with the inspectors at the front desk about an upcoming downtown event. They were telling me about all the attractions, when one of them perked up and said he was looking forward to meeting and getting his picture taken with the SeaGals. They had obviously been talking about it before, because the secretary and the other inspector began to tease and laugh at him over it.
“What’s that?” I asked, wondering what I was missing.
“The Seattle Seahawks cheerleaders,” he said with a surprise, as if I was supposed to know.
I replied softly, “Really? How does your wife feel about that?”
You should have seen his reaction. His gleeful, expectant smile instantly dropped as he looked down at the floor with concern and said quietly, “Not so good.” He was genuinely convicted.
“Well then why would you do it,” I asked him. The secretary grinned in the background and gave me an affirming fist pump as we continued with a short discussion about integrity there at the counter.
It’s not that difficult to foresee how that type of behavior can damage his relationship with his wife. It would undermine her confidence in his attraction to her, and definitely have repercussions in their private life. Think I’m overreacting? All he’s got to do is imagine his wife proudly displaying a picture of herself smiling with two half naked firefighters and he will feel the same humiliation and inadequacy that his actions subject her to.
It’s funny how this guy had been thinking and planning and talking about and looking forward to doing something, and all that had to happen for was for someone to ask one simple question for him to see he was wrong.
I think temptation works that way for all of us at times. We tell ourselves it’s no big deal, suppress any qualms of conscience and move forward, rationalizing and justifying ourselves.
Have you ever been rebuked? I know I have. I have had people who loved me enough to confront me when they saw me doing something or about to do something I shouldn’t.
Proverbs 27:5 says that an open rebuke is better than secret love. In other words, a friend who truly loves you will sometimes say the things that need to be said. Sometimes sternly, and sometimes gently, but I definitely have been rebuked.
How do you react when confronted over your sin? Do you get angry, accusing the person of being judgmental? Do you deny any wrongdoing seek to justify your behavior? Or do you acknowledge your guilt and change course? Can you look past the embarrassment of the moment and simply accept the rebuke?
Proverbs 29:1 “He who is often rebuked, and hardens his neck,
Will suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.”
If you’ve been warned, and you continue down that path, you will eventually reap what you sow. Don’t stiffen your neck and harden your conscience.
How you react to correction says a lot about you. Consider Proverbs 9:8,9 ,”Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.”
Remember, the point of rebuking someone is not to get them in a “Gotcha!” moment or to rub salt in their wounds. It’s to help them come to their senses and hopefully change.
Galatians 6:1 “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”
James 5:20 “Let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”
I’m not suggesting that any of us develop a cavalier attitude and go out on a crusade of sin-sniffing in other people’s lives. There is no such thing as the gift of rebuke. But let’s be faithful to one another when we do see something that needs to be addressed, and bring it up in a spirit of gentleness, humility, and love.